Birth Plan for the Mob

 A few days ago while waiting for an episode of Mob Wives to air (damn I love that show!), I watched an episode of A Baby’s Story on TLC (I know, such polar extreme shows!  That’s me!) and by the end of the episode I was pretty mad.  In this particular episode one woman’s birth plan seemed to backfire on her. 

I know that natural births are all the rage these days.  It’s what the “cool” kids do.  But you know what?  I was never meant for the cool crowd.  I was always on the outside looking in, even with my best friend being the coolest girl in my grade in high school.  Yeah – that was rough, and our relationship was doomed from that point.

I am VERY sensitive to pain.  I don’t tolerate it well at all.  Therefore there was no question that an epidural would be a part of my birth plan for both pregnancies.  The moment I felt my first real contraction, I knew I had made the right choice.  For who would willingly endure such agony? Definitely not me!  I mean, just because the Incas proved brain surgery was possible without the modern conveniences of anesthesia and without antibiotics, doesn’t mean I’d jump to it!  Something would really be wrong with my brain in that case!  (By the way, I'm not knocking natural births.  I'm actually in awe of them as I also am with ancient brain surgery apparently)

The woman on the show was part of the cool crowd.  She planned to have a natural birth….. she “planned” to.  At about 4 cm dilated, she changed her mind asking - no - imploring her husband, midwife, and nurses for the epidural.  Everyone ignored her, turned the other cheek, and tried to delay her request.  I can understand to a point what they were doing, they wanted to stick to the birth plan.  They didn’t want to deviate and possibly do something that the woman would regret later.  But SHE WAS IN PAIN. 

PAIN!

It got to a point on the show where it felt like the midwife and husband were forcing THEIR birth plan on her.  She kept saying, “Listen to me!  No one is listening to me!  I am in PAIN”.  I wanted to jump through the screen and get the anesthesiologist myself!  Oh and then choke that husband of hers on my way back in the room.

In the end, she finally got her relief but after a lot of unnecessary pain in my opinion.  If that had been me, things wouldn’t have boiled over so well.  Like I said, I don’t tolerate pain well, and if my husband and midwife were ignoring me on top of things, I’d become someone else. The scene would not have been suitable for TLC.  Come to think about it, it may have been more like a scene from Mob Wives! DRAMA! Now that would be a good show! Ha!

Team Edward Epidural - Shirley