Monday, September 21, 2009

End of an Era


I am now 8 weeks pregnant and a lot of things happened this week. I found out that my close cousin in Peru is 2 months pregnant. She is around my age, and years ago we had a fun little race to see who would get pregnant first. She is older than me and was finding it tough to get pregnant. I was just married so I had only just begun to try. Months later it would turn out that she was pregnant with her first child. She beat me back then.
So you probably understand why this time around, I was a little bothered with the fact that
1)She beat me again - less than one month before me
2)I will have to share my pregnancy time with her.

Even though she lives in another country, I still felt like this was MY special news, and I didn't really think of sharing the limelight. It had been so hard for me to get pregnant, that I just wanted this to be a unique, special time. I know that may sound so selfish, but I must be honest with my feelings, though I will never vocalize them in any other venue. I'm sure it will cause us to bond more, and I was just saying how I needed a support group, but right now that's not particularly what's on my mind.

In passing the news of my cousin's pregnancy through instant message to my sister, I was forced to come out with my secret to her. Hey! I can't lie to my sister, OK!

Shirley: Did u know Maura is 2 months pregnant?
Steph: No! Damn, she's poppin those babies out, isn't she?
Shirley: Yup.

about 30 mins. of time elapses

Steph: So how are your pregnancy plans coming along?
Shirley: I wish you hadn't asked me that.

And I proceeded to spill the beans. My sister was so excited and happy that she was finally going to be an aunt. Having a lot of pregnant friends in the past, she had a lot of advice (though the way she phrases things, it sometimes sounds like direct orders). According to Steph, I cannot eat ceasar dressing, lunch meat, and especially no McDonald's. I nearly fainted. No McDonald's? I pleaded with her and offered to give up smoking instead (this was a joke; I do not smoke). But she stated that she would be snatching many things out of my hand if she caught me. I loath these next few months.

She has, however, come up with a great idea on how I will break the news to my parents. I will edit a video/slideshow about Japan and make them think it's about our trip, however, in the video I will allude to the fact that something big happened there. And in the end, I will break the news that they will be grandparents with a picture of me at the doctor's office. This is going to be a fun video to make.

This week was also Qori's 5th birthday, and I wanted to make sure I gave him extra attention. Even though my furry baby has no idea of the changes that are to come, I still felt like I needed to show him extra love. When the 25th of June came, I had presents and hugs and kisses ready for him which he received whole-heartedly. Sadly, by the time afternoon came, he was sharing his special day with some very bad main stream news. The actress Farrah Faucet had died that morning - this was not a shock because she had been battling cancer but of course sad news. In the evening, the world - and I literally mean the world - was shocked when Michael Jackson suddenly passed away due to cardiac arrest at age 50. Chatter was everywhere: in the halls, on Twitter, on Facebook, on the blogs, on the news, even the radio stations played tribute music. It was so hard to fathom that this was real. I hold on to my memories of the 80s when he was big. I remember my cousin Jovan in a red leather jacket dancing for the family and trying to moon walk. I remember all his hits that made you want to just get up and dance or just sing along at the top of your lungs. Even though I never saw him live, Michael Jackson was the only living legend that I knew. There was ALWAYS Michael Jackson.
As the news broke, I was saddened of course because during the last 10 years of his life, he experienced more turmoil than anything else. Though not a crazy, devoted fan, I was nonetheless always on Michael's side through the scandals - which is not like me. I think it was because deep down inside I understood the feeling of being different than other people, psychologically. Michael was just an extreme case that in my mind should not have been judged simply because he didn't think like the rest of us. He led such a sad life in his last years, and this is why I was sad. Not really because he was dead. While watching all the post-news segments and documentaries, the only thing that I could do was sigh to myself and say, "Poor Michael".

My child will grow up in a world without Michael Jackson's presence. Who will be his or her living legendary figure? I hope it's not the Jonas Brothers...