Wednesday, August 25, 2010

United We Stand

The same day that the baby sitter warned me about stressful moms, she caused me to become one. I had dropped Diego off to her in the morning, and by 1pm, she called me with him crying in the background. She was concerned because he was crying wanting to be picked up and his unconsoled crying was triggering a flare up in his chest causing his difficult breathing to start up again. She was nervous about the sound of his breathing, which I had already become accustomed to. His crying could only be consoled by carrying him, but the sitter let me know that the other kids were trying to sleep and she had a lot of dishes to wash and cleaning to do.

When she said this, I was not very sympathetic in my mind. Her primary job is child care, not house care. I understand that keeping the daycare tidy is important, but when priorities arise such as a baby that needs to be consoled so that his lungs won't flare up, it trumps house cleaning in my mind. I had already told her that the doctor said his breathing was fine other than the sound of the wheezing, which was now only visible during crying fits. I had also told her that the doctor said the virus was no longer at a contagious stage and he was allowed to return to daycare.

She told me that the other kids were putting their fingers in their ears to stop from hearing the crying. In my mind I thought, then why don't you pick him up? Then she said that she wouldn't be able to take care of him like this.

Seriously? You want to make me feel that bad about my still-recuperating baby? I took care of him the entire previous week while his wheezing was at its height. There was absolutely no way that this flare up could possibly be as bad as it was the prior week. I had also made sure to warn her that his medication made him more hyper and outspoken than usual. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my gut. I'm not sure if she meant that she could not take care of him if he continued to cry, or if he continued to wheeze. I got the feeling that it was the crying that was mostly bothering her and that she no longer wants to care for my baby.

After some discussion, we decided I would bring her his exersaucer because that's the only thing that seems to calm him down for longer bouts of time. The exersaucer keeps him at a mostly standing, somewhat sitting position and there are lots of activities to keep him occupied around it. I think I may have mentioned before that Diego is all about standing and wants NOTHING to do with crawling. He often gets frustrated while sitting and laying down, and standing is what makes him happy in these cases. Though I was skeptical before, I now believe he is on the fast track to walking, not crawling. My mother has said many times that I did not crawl and went straight to running. Knowing the source of this information, I had my suspicions and doubts :)

But now, I'm rethinking the information to possibly be true, as evidenced by the picture below. That is me, in the middle of a sprint. How old do I look in this picture? Do I look like I might be 7 months or so? I honestly don't know. But my husband says I'm definitely over a year old. It's probably true, I'm not the best a gauging childrens' ages.

So for now, the exersaucer has done the trick. To quote the sitter, "That thing is like MAGIC!" The stress has been contained for now, but Javier and I will begin looking for alternate daycare options. It's always good to have a Plan B.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Bathtime Stress?

It's the beginning of a new work week and Diego is feeling much, much better. Unfortunately, he is not yet 100%. I'd venture to say that he is at least 92% back to normal. After his last appointment on Friday, his regular doctor told me that she was mostly convinced that he has Bronchiolitis, not Asthma. This is good news for me for the following reasons:
1. It's a virus, not a chronic disease like asthma. Although he's still on meds, the effects will eventually dissipate, and he'll be back to full health, unlike asthma which is an on-going concern.
2. For now, people can STOP blaming Qori, my golden retriever for Diego's wheezing. Qori is a very sensitive topic for me, and most non-animal lovers just don't get it, so I won't try to explain.

It was a semi-cold the week that I took off to care for Diego. I kept him nicely bundled up or at least with long sleeves most of the time. When I dropped him off at the baby sitter's this morning, I was ready to ask her to keep him warm with long sleeves and to not bathe him. She often bathes him when he cries a lot, and it calms him down. Unfortunately, my mother told me that she noticed the baby sitter usually has a window open at her house, and we live in a cold area.
This may be TMI but almost the entire week that Diego was sick, I did not bathe him. I was afraid it could lead to pneumonia or something. Additionally, my husband seems to be against bathing the baby. He says that I bathe him too much and that's probably why he got so sick in the first place. Last night I mentioned to him that I was going to bathe, Diego. Even after a WEEK of non-bathing glory, he still felt strongly that I should not bathe him. This turned into a strong disagreement between the two of us. Needless to say, I was going to bathe my son whether or not he liked it. When Diego woke up, he was in a foul mood. I prepared his bath and put him in. He screamed like I hadn't heard in the longest time! I was afraid from his reaction that the water was too hot and I was scalding him, but it was not hot. He screamed the entire bath; he's usually so good at bath time. I was a little upset that Diego was proving my husband right instead of me. After the bath, I was sweating from the stress of bath time. I was relieved that I didn't have to hear an "I-told-you-so" from my husband, though he was probably thinking it.
When I woke up this morning, it turned out to be the most beautiful day. I felt awkward asking the sitter to keep him warm, but living where I live, I know that these beautiful days are an exception rather than the norm.
While I was discussing how the week went with the baby sitter, I dropped my keys. Since I was holding Diego, I decided not to pick them up until I was ready to leave. I continued talking with the sitter, then my sunglasses fell. I guess the sitter saw how frazzled I was, which I usually am in the mornings. Before I left, she said that a stressed mother can also affect the health of a child.
I don't consider myself stressed, just busy which I like to be. Plus, I stay busy during the day, so I can have bonding time in the evening. It's the only thing that makes sense in my master schedule. The baby sitter only sees me in the mornings, my most stressful time. Though she's probably right, sometimes I could use a bubble bath or two. But when I play with my son in the evenings, who needs a bubble bath, really?! Just him :)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Seven Months Sick

I had an unexpected week off at work, although I still worked. And it was definitely harder work. Diego has progressively become sick. It all culminated into a bad cough, cold, and wheezing over this last weekend. His wheezing scared me because I thought it could be developing asthma, so early Monday morning I tried to make an appointment with his pediatrician and I let my boss know that I was going to work from home that day. Do you want the long story or short story? The short story? OK.
After a couple of Dr. visits the doctor was stumped. This made me feel helpless. I thought as soon as I brought him in, they'd be able to prescribe something for him to at least minimize the wheezing, but an inhaler, nebulizer, and oral medication later, and there wasn't much marked improvement since the first visit.
The doctor said we'd need to let it heal naturally. How can someone watch their baby suffer and do nothing? That's what the doctor was basically telling me. He allowed me to continue the nebulizer. It's Thursday now, and his wheezing is finally under control, though still there. The medication has him hyper, and he's been more of a handful than he usually is. I joked with his babysitter that she got a short vacation from Diego, and that after seeing how difficult Diego was this week, my husband has given her much more credit for doing her job.
Yes, he's been difficult, but he deserved all the attention in the world while sick, and I can now breathe a sigh of relief that he's doing better. Tomorrow is his follow up appointment, and another day of working from home for me :)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Chinese, Coke, and a little bit of Psychological Trauma

Today, I was in a two-hour meeting that went through the lunch hour. I sat there in the conference room with my director and other folks analyzing and re-analyzing the same spreadsheet over and over again as part of prepping for an internal system audit.

The only good thing about lunch meetings is the catering. We spent $200 on Chinese food and barely made a dent in it (I'm psyched that I don't need to cook dinner tonight!). I had a little bit of everything and a Coke. Halfway through the meeting, I started to feel spasms in my stomach. At first I wrote off the twitching as something that was the result of the caffeine in the Coke, but as it persisted I started remembering those first feelings when Diego started kicking. I have to admit, I really wondered for a minute. But I've been very cautious and am taking the necessary prevention steps. I could always take a test, but honestly there's something about taking those tests that I hate. It's probably the memory of having taken the tests for 3 years with repeated disappointment. It's just weird that even now that I would want a negative result, I am still not interested in taking the test.

I guess I'm more sensitive than I would prefer myself to be. I'm still not going to take the test. It was the Coke... period.