30 years old & Pregnant

I woke up last week 30 years old and 5 months pregnant. Although I never really imagined what my 30th birthday would be like, I hardly ever envisioned I'd be pregnant for it. Weeks ago, my sister and I were having a discussion where she stated that her 30th birthday would be crazy with a lot of drinking and a lot of partying.

Seeing she was unaware of my impending age, I reminded her by saying, "You know... I am turning 30 this year."

In her typical upfront matter, her only response was, "Wow, you really fucked that one up didn't you?" and we just laughed hysterically.

But honestly, I don't think I "F"-ed anything up. I'm not much of a partyer - I got over those things back in my first year of college. I also don't like celebrating things that revolve around me very much either. I hate having birthday parties for myself, and was actually rather relieved that Javier and I didn't have an official wedding ceremony when we got married. I don't really know what my problem is. It's not that I'm anti-social because I do like to talk and hang out with people. It's just that I like to stay home nice and cozy more than that. But I realize how bad I actually am when I see how much my sister goes out with her friends and boyfriend. And I've especially noticed how out of touch I am now that my sister is planning my baby shower and after I went to a baptism/child's birthday party the same weekend as my birthday.

My sister has been taking this baby shower very seriously. She's already picked a theme (Japanese Asian fusion), bought decorations, picked a venue, and ordered invitations. She gave me one major homework item: to come up with the invitation list. I grudgingly went along with it, but honestly feared that I would not be able to come up with more than 5 names on the list. After a lot of thinking and talking with Javier about which of his friends would come (it's co-ed) I was surprised to find that the list had grown to about 50 people, and we're guestimating that at least 25-30 will actually attend. At one point I walked over to my sister on her laptop and asked what the invitations looked like. She said I wasn't supposed to see them or know anything. I had peeked and seen she was looking at chocolate covered fortune cookies on her screen - appetizers perhaps? But that's how out of the loop I am... I don't even know all the customary nuances to planning a baby shower. I'm actually glad that I got pregnant before she did because I would really be messing her shower up if the shoe were on the other foot.

I also decided to go to a baptism/child's birthday party with my mother. Neither of us wanted to go for the actual baptism, so we opted to go to the after party. We got there when the party was in full swing. As we walked through the front door, we saw a bunch of children on the living room floor, quiet and paying attention to something. I looked forward and noticed a huge puppet stage had been built in the living room, and we were walking in on the show. We walked toward the kitchen, and from the kitchen window we saw one of those big blow-up bouncy things that kids could jump around in setup in the backyard. Again, I was glad to have seen this before my baby's birthday. I guess cake and hats just aren't enough these days. I started to wonder what cool things I could do for him... ponies were the first thing that came to my mind for some reason.

My 30th birthday was spent wine tasting sniffing in Napa with my family. I stuffed my body into a green empire-waist dress that I could barely fit into the week before my birthday.


What I really wanted to do was sit outside in the vineyard and have a nice picnic with cold pesto pasta and cheese and crackers. Unfortunately, we didn't go to the usual vineyard, Viyansa, and I soon found out that not many vineyards in the area served both food and wine. It was usually just wine, so we (excluding me) did a lot of drinking prior to going in search of food. We didn't really drink that much, but here's my father joking that he's drunk:
And walking "the line":


After all the sniffing and drinking, we ended up in downtown Napa searching for an Italian restaurant because that's my favorite food right now.
It ended up being a very nice birthday. On the way home unfortunately, a topic came up that I have had enough of: my Golden Retriever, Qori. My dog has been known to "snap" at other dogs over food and sometimes over me. It is not just a warning growl and a snap of the jaws, but a full-blown "I'm gonna git you sucka!" attack. Though Qori has never shown this type of aggression towards humans, my family is worried that he may act out on the baby. I have tried to be rational and listen to their concerns the LAST 5o TIMES when they've expressed them to me. Unfortunately, after hearing it over and over again, they really start to paint a picture of Qori like he is some kind of monster, and that does not go over well with me. I swear on the car ride home, my blood was literally boiling as I listened to them discuss my "dangerous" dog over and over again. I sat back in my chair and couldn't help but think back a few months ago before we found out I was pregnant. It was on the way home from Japan, we were in China catching our connecting flight to the U.S. We were in the security line, when my dad mentioned he'd heard a news story about a dog that missed his owners so much during their trip to Japan, that he ended up in Japan roaming the streets looking for them.

Being very gullible to my dad's super-serious face, I said, "How'd he get on the plane?" That's when he handed me a Japanese credit card application, and I knew it was all a joke. He was just talking about my Qori.

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The past few weeks have been very busy for Javier, so busy that we've barely had time to think of a name for the baby, although he's been passing hints joking around that he'd like to name the baby Vladimir (After Vladimir Putin, the Russian Prime minister). We've been working on getting his contractor's license, which is a long time due. After filling out all the application information, he was finally approved and had his law and trade exam was scheduled after my birthday. He was also having problems with his van, and unfortunately had to have his transmission rebuilt, which set him back over $3000, so he'd been borrowing my car for the week. At the same time, he was going to Sacramento (a 2 hr drive) on the weekends to go to his class to study for the law & trade exams. One of the days after he had picked up his car from the transmission repair, he was driving back from Sacramento and his van began smoking on the Bay Bridge and almost came to a complete stall. He forced it off the bridge, but had to have it towed back to the transmission place. He was very upset about everything that's been going on lately. Lucky for him, the transmission work was under warranty, and the entire transmission was replaced for free.

The only recent good news it seems for him has been the sex of the baby, and that he PASSED HIS EXAMS! He was so happy the last week, gloating floating on air and making plans for his business card and painting his van. Unfortunately, his happiness only lasted the week because on Friday, he got into a heated argument with his brother (who works for him) and fired him. He didn't really mean to fire him, he just has a problem controlling his anger sometimes and has been under a lot of stress lately. He spent the weekend sullen and left several messages to his brother apologizing for his actions. He realized that his brother was his right-hand man, and how much he depended on him. But his brother has not returned any of his calls and did not show up to work on Monday. He said that things will be harder if his brother does not return, and he will have to pick up even more slack than he's been since he found out we were pregnant.
Through all of this turbulence in his life lately, I have been standing by lending a helping hand where I can. It seems like every week there is a new drama that takes precedent over everything else, and I'm left to wonder when we will have time to enjoy the pregnancy.
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Today, I returned from my recent prenatal appointment. At 5 months, 1 week (21 weeks) they weighed me in at 139lbs, which means I've gained 11 lbs. in total. I'm thinking this is pretty good since I'm more than halfway through the pregnancy. For the most part, my body has remained normal except for my protruding belly. One of my friends showed me a picture of her pregnant sister in-law, who is almost due. She was putting henna on her belly. I stared at the big belly and saw that that her belly button did not pop out. I'm afraid mine might, and that will be gross! It already looks like it's starting to fold outward at the top.


While waiting at the Dr.'s office two black women were chatting with each other. They were both almost due, but while one had gained weight all around, the other had just in her belly. The bigger one started talking about vaginal reconstruction and if tightening was included in the insurance. I shuddered at the thought, and unintentionally found out that it is, in fact, covered by insurance.

The Dr. listened to the baby's heartbeat in the room. We heard him kicking and swishing around a lot. She said, "You have a very active baby!" I've been hearing that a lot lately, and joke that he's probably going to be like his father. That worries me a little. Javier is sometimes too much for me, and sometimes I encourage him to go out with friends to expend all that energy.
A few nights ago, while our energetic baby was kicking around, I lifted my shirt to see if I could actually see the movements and told Javier to look. He kicked and my stomach bounced on it's own. That was the first time that Javier had seen it.

A couple weeks ago when the fetal movements were just starting up, Javier fell asleep on the couch with his head on my stomach. With all the stress of school and work, he fell into a deep sleep and started snoring pretty loud, which is not unusual. That's when a funny thing happened. The baby started kicking like crazy! I imagined him in the womb, kicking and punching to make the noise stop. It was too funny.