Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Deep thoughts, Celebrations, & Aggression

I completed the bloodwork for the Isolated Mild Ventricolmegaly this week and was given a clean bill of health. I am infection-free, so that possibility is now off the table. I have scheduled my next ultrasound for next month and am hoping, but not really anticipating that the issue will have resolved itself by then.

I spent a lot of time last week thinking about the issue, deep down in my mind. I guess it really got to me. It was hard for me to continue enjoying the pregnancy as I once had been doing. But day by day, the baby's kicking has steadily become stronger and more frequent that it's hard for me to imagine that he may have any issues at all.

My sister's birthday also passed, and she had a big birthday bash at the Cigar Bar and Grill in San Francisco. At the party I talked with a lot of her friends that were either pregnant or had recently had children. They gave it to me straight, and I liked that. I haven't really talked to many other mom's about the "joys" of having children.

My "uncle" and "aunt" were also in town this week and Javier coordinated not one, but two lunches with them before they left back to Indio - near Palm Springs, CA. During the first lunch my husband was having a blast with my "cousin's" children. I know that he loves children, because he becomes one himself when he's around them. By the end of the lunch, the eldest child called Javier his "buddy".

The second lunch was at a very expensive Peruvian restaurant in San Francisco called La Mar. I had always wanted to go, but Javier had previously stated no intent to "make them richer". I always joke that he is a hater, and shouldn't be hating on his own people. In the end, I finally got to dine there. It was pretty good, but too expensive. I may never go back, so I enjoyed it while I was there.
He's been very busy with the birth of his new construction company. These past few weeks have been consumed with painting his van, creating business cards, receiving his official license, etc. I am very proud of him, but I still wonder when we'll have time for the baby.

Instead my sister and I have been focusing on the baby shower. We spent our Halloween shopping for clothes and baby shower decorations. To remind you, she is making it an Asian-themed celebration. Clothes shopping was a disappointment - everything makes me look fat. We also went to a Japanese store called Daiso, and bought fans and little zen temples that will adorn as the centerpieces. Since my sister is into baking cupcakes, we also spent the night creating little origami paper cranes made of fondant that will top the cupcakes. It's all coming together, and it's hard to believe that the shower will be less than 2 weeks away.

Although this Halloween week was marred because the bay bridge had been shut down for an emergency repair, we still went and visited my aunt and grandmother with my parents over the weekend. I did not think it was a good idea to bring my Qori to my aunt's house, but Javier insisted.

I spent most of my time trying to mediate between Qori and my aunt's dachshund, Max. By the end of the night, I had failed. Max was nipping at Qori one too many times, and Qori decided to unleash his wrath upon him. I was there, 6 months pregnant, trying to stop a dog fight between a 90 lb dog and one that was barely a pound (I'm not really sure). As Max was yelping, I tried my best to pull Qori by the collar, but couldn't find it in the madness. Instead I decided to grab ahold of his neck skin, and pull him away with raw force. It worked, but later I found that 1/4 of my nail had ripped off in the process. I freaked out when I saw blood, thinking something had happened to the dogs. It turned out that the only one bleeding was me. My aunt, bless her heart, was so positive about the whole thing. She told me that my nail would grow back. Maybe she thought I was upset about my nail, but I didn't care. She told me that Max deserved it and that she knows how he is, so not to feel bad. She also told me that he was not bleeding and was in the other room with his tail wagging wanting to come out. Still, at that moment, I was just upset at the whole situation and hated the fact that I'm the one with a bully dog - a Golden Retriever of all things! As I examined my nail, I noticed that my whole body and hands were shaking uncontrollably. My mom tried to get me to drink sugar water, but I refused like a brat - I was just too upset. My aunt mentioned that the dogs would spend plenty of time together in future get togethers like when we go camping. In my mind, I had written off any future family campings and even the trip to the Lake Tahoe snow this winter that I wanted to plan, because of what had just happened.

I was so emotional and upset. I took my frustration out on Javier for forcing Qori to come when we knew how he gets. It's been on my mind for 2 days now. But after thinking about it some more and talking with my sister, I realize that I can't just hide Qori from social interactions either. She reminded me that I had once bought him a muzzle, and so the new rule is that he will always wear a muzzle in the presence of canine company. This rule will also pass on when the baby is born and begins to crawl, just as a precautionary measure. I would hate if Qori did something to the baby, though I doubt it. And I would hate to find out that my dad et. all were right for voicing there concerns OVER & OVER again about my aggressive golden retriever.