Mommy-Fail Moments :(

I think I'm pretty out-spoken when I suck as a mother.  I'm not embarrassed, and I never expected to be "The World's Greatest Mom"  (Ok maybe secretly I do).  But this is real life and as the yellow happy face always says, "Sh!# Stuff happens". 

I've experienced some significant Mommy-fail moments this week.  I'd like to blame it on the pregnancy.  What?  No.... that's not me, it's the mommy-brain.  But the truth is, I just suck.

The other night, my husband was dead tired and I was a close runner up.  Guess who wasn't......  Yup, Diego.  He was trying to fall asleep and kept rolling around in the bed between us.  (We have to coax him to go to bed by sleeping between us.  After he's been sleeping for 10 mins., we usually transfer him to his bed.  Sometimes, the 10 mins is too long for even us to wait, and he ends up in bed with us the whole night.  Therefore we're mostly sometimes "co-sleepers".)

The lights were off and Diego rolled over my husband, and in a mostly conscience effort - he flung himself over the side of the bed and lowered himself down onto the floor.  Then I heard the little pitter-patter of tiny feet walking around our bedroom.  I knew it was dangerous, but I also knew if I grabbed him and forced him onto the bed at that point, I was in for a long temper tantrum session.  I should've turned on the lights at least.

Diego tripped over his diaper bag in the dark, and on his way down, his face hit the corner of our bed.  He started crying and I immediately turned on the lights and grabbed him.  It was one of those cries that was so emotional that he couldn't even get sound to come out of his pipes.  I checked his face and saw nothing, but comforted him anyway until he finally fell asleep.  Then morning light came and revealed the real damage.

I felt so guilty, because I was not as dead tired as my husband.  I could have done something, but I didn't react in time.  I sucked. 

Then just yesterday, I managed to lock Diego in the car in front of my house.  I'm just so glad he was sleeping and will never know what happened until he is older and able to read this post, or my husband opens his big mouth (I'm putting money on the latter).  I was borrowing my dad's car and had separate keys for the car and the house.  Since Diego was sleeping, I wanted to unlock our front door before I grabbed him to disturb his sleep as little as possible.  Consciously, I felt keys in my hand so I felt OK to close the car door.  Those keys were not the car keys, but my house keys.  I was lucky that I at least had my cellphone in my hand, and I called my dad (who had the only set of spare keys and lives 10-15 mins away) to come rescue Diego, and rescue me from yet another mommy-fail moment...

PS. As you can see from the car picture, at least his eye bruise is almost completely healed now, but not my ego.